Finding Joy

Many of my contemporaries are at a crossroads in their lives.  Their children are either out of the house or are older and not looking for Mom anymore.

Not looking for MOM anymore?? What?  This is a problem that so many around my age are facing.

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There was a period of time where my own role as a Mom had suddenly been minimized, and not because my children were old enough to live on their own.  It was because they chose to live at their father’s.   Not sure how this feels when it happens to Dads, but it’s a pretty swift kick in the gut for a Mom.  Kids are supposed to choose to live with their Moms, right?  I was dealing with hurt and sadness, not to mention a very serious blow to my ego.

I am  happy to report I’ve overcome the frustration and negative feelings and gained traction and fabulous forward-momentum in my own life.

Would you like to know how?

The single best thing I ever did to help over this hurdle was to identify some personal goals.  Yep. Just set up some goals.   Sound hard?  It can be if you try to be too perfect about it.  Let me share with you how I went about identifying my personal goals.

It started with a list of things I wanted to do.  While I was in a good mood, after having exercised and had high energy, I took 5 minutes and wrote down everything I wanted to do.  I came up with 10 things that would give me joy.  It wasn’t about making sure the list made sense or was feasible, it wasn’t about making sure everything on the list seemed achievable.  It just consisted of the first things that popped into my head that would bring me joy.

I looked at this list every day.  The list didn’t mean much at first but after a while I started to memorize it.  I started to think about it, and then started to think about actionable ways to achieve the items on it.  I would bring up some of the items in casual conversation with friends, and listened to their perspectives and ideas.  In the morning when I’d work on my SAVERS routine I’d read books that would steer me in the direction of fulfilling some of these goals.

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Here is the list that I created:

  • Help others be happy
  • Help others find peace
  • Help others succeed
  • I want to travel
  • Help others beat depression and anxiety
  • Make a meaningful difference in the lives of women like me and show them where their strength lies
  • Show other women how to love themselves for who and what they are
  • Strive to become the best version of myself every day

That’s it.  There was no rhyme or reason to it.  But the more I looked at that list the more focused I became on those things.  Next thing I know I am writing this blog and am doing my first paid speaking engagement.  What we focus on is what manifests itself in our lives.

The next step is to make these more specific and put them into actionable chunks.  For me I had no idea what to do next, so I did research.  After researching I narrowed my actions down to this blog.  It took me about two months to figure out what to do with the list.  I am not sure where it will go from here, but for now it brings me purpose, passion and happiness.

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Every morning when I wake up I am so excited for the day ahead and can’t wait for the next step in my journey.  My goals have now manifested into a passionate mission in life! I don’t think there is anything that can get you more jazzed than a purpose driven life. I know this because I live it.  Not sure where it will go, but if you told me a year ago that I’d be working on a blog, I wouldn’t have believed it.

Why not start a list of your own?  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

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